Meglio soli Che Male Accompagnati

Four days ago, my regular morning coffee routine was disrupted.  My friend, Sergio, went away for a week on "vacation" with his wife to Sardinia so I had no reason to go out to our favorite cafe by myself.  

It was a social meeting for us but by myself, it just wasn't the same. So I just skipped the cappuccino and did other things to fill the void. But then yesterday afternoon, I just needed to get out and enjoy the fabulous azure sky and the wonderful afternoon crowds at the central square where the Cafe Ninci is located. So I headed out to have a late afternoon aperatif at the cafe by myself.  When I arrived, I warned the usual waiter that I wanted a "Spritz" instead of coffee.  Otherwise, if I just sat down he would  automatically bring me the "usual" cappuccino.  They know me and my habits!  

     

       I had to inform Ibrahim that I wanted something different.

Ok no problem.  The waiter, Ibrahim, noticed that I was alone and he just changed my usual order.  When I went in to pay the bill, the usual guy at the cash register said something to me which I didn't quite understand.  He repeated what he said, but slowly and with an explanation in English.  What he said was this..."Meglio soli che male accompagnati ".  Loosely translated it means..." Better alone than with bad company".  Yes indeed.  

     

      The typical Tuscan aperitif... an Aperol Spritz. No coffee.

So many times when I travel these days, I am alone.  I've invited several friends and family members to join me or visit the places I haunt.  But it is the rare occasion when someone else decides to spend time and money to explore the places that I enjoy.  I get it.  Other people have their own lives and they really aren't all THAT interested in visiting the oddball places that I seem to like.  I'm used to traveling alone at this point of my life and I've sort of gotten used to the isolation.  The thing that I've learned about traveling alone is that I have a completely different experience to the wider world when I am by myself.  When I'm alone, I'm much more likely to encounter new people and get out of my safe cacoon.  

It's weird but so true, at least for me.  When I'm with someone else, I will usually exclude "outsiders" from my little group.  My attention needs to focus on interacting with the person (or persons) I'm with.  My conversations are directed at my companion.  When Sergio and I meet for coffee, I interact with him and he will interact with others around us.  I defer to him since he knows the culture and the language much better than I do.  When my daughter and her family were here for a visit, my job was to act as a guide and interpreter so I was constantly trying to explain what we were seeing and experiencing.  I really didn't have the luxury of engaging with strangers.  There were four others that I was responsible for and side conversations were out of the question.  Pay attention to the task at hand!

     

      Pay attention.  And keep pedalling. This thing won't move itself. 

The only reason I discovered Lucca was due to my being by myself and Sergio being alone as well.  We were both staying at the same hotel in  Yogyakarta, Java and the hotel seated us together at the same table for a Christmas party for the guests.  Once we overcame the awkward process of beginning a conversation, we could follow up later at breakfast the next day when it was quiet and more relaxed.  As we gained a bit of confidence in interacting, it became easier to chat for extended periods of time.  Neither of us had anyone else there to get in the way.  I was stuck at the hotel waiting for my Airbnb rental to become available.  And Sergio was hanging out there while his wife did a yoga workshop in the nearby city of Solo(yes that's the real name).  Sergio was determined to educate me on the wonders of his home town.  Every conversation seemed to lead to Lucca.  I had no way to prove him right or wrong so I accepted the challenge of visiting Lucca to make my own judgement.  That was six years ago.  I finally had to accept defeat.  Lucca is indeed the most delightful place on the planet... (according to both of us!).  

So traveling alone often turns into a very positive experience.  That's the benefit side of the equation.  But wait.  There is more.

I also need to acknowledge the bad company that accompanies me when I travel alone.  Meeting new people and learning new things is great.  It's something I look forward to.  The thing I really dread about spending days on my own is constantly being in a struggle for my own thoughts. I usually refer to this battle as having to fight with the "guy in the basement".  The guy in the basement is the doom and gloom voice of ruin that lurks deep inside my inner psyche.  I am often not even aware that this creepy voice inside me is talking to me.  So many times I catch myself arguing with some voice in my head that just loves pessimism and despair.  

Yesterday afternoon I went up on the wall to once again bask in the heavenly views of the Tuscan mountains and to chuckle at all the people around me who were out for a good time.  It must have taken me 20-25 minutes to gain the upper hand over the creep in the basement.  The thing that saved the afternoon for me was to encounter a blind man being helped around the wall by a sighted guide.  Here I was in paradise with spectacular vista of rich afternoon sunshine bathing the ring of mountains all around the city, and I was arguing with myself about some lunacy that upset me and wouldn't let go. Open your eyes, Dude.  There's a show going on and you don't even see it!  And you have 2 working, magical eyes.  Wake up and see what's there!

     

     

      Note to self.  Look around. Enjoy the view.  Give thanks.  Amen.

So, I guess what I'm struggling with here is the same thing we all struggle with most of the time.  Do I have the ability to enjoy what is right in front of me?  Or should I be angry that my world isn't perfect?

The battle continues.  But at least now I recognize the bad company inside me...and I'm learning how to be thankful for the good company that seems to find me all over the planet. And the Italians recognize my dilemma.  Meglio Soli che male accompagnati.  

That's my story.

And I'm stickin to it.

Dan

     

Indulge/Indulgence

I thought about this idea and I ran away from it immediately.  It really was a mine field of language twists and philosophy leaps that I thought would be impossible to explain.  But then the spirit with a spine took possession of my tablet and there was no turning back.  

Warning.  If you never experienced the "discipline" of going to a Catholic elementary school run by the good nuns of a half century ago, much of this will seem to be pure fiction.  But let me bring in a quote from a master of fiction...Mark Twain.  He wrote this about "Truth vs Fiction".  Twain said that truth is stranger than fiction because fiction ,after all,has to MAKE SENSE.   I'm going on a wild ride into Neverland and most of those reading this will not make it to the end without questioning my sanity.  I like to think of myself as sane...but then again...

Indulgence.  This is workable idea .  To indulge (the verb) and the noun form (indulgence) are common ideas.  To treat yourself/to enjoy a pleasure/to splurge.  We get that.  Still on safe turf.

Now let's go to Italy and go off the rails a bit.  

     

      This "Indulgence" is granted by his Excellency Niccola Ghilardi

I stumbled on this marble plaque on a small shrine to the Virgin Mary about 50 yards from my apartment.  I've walked past this small nook hundreds of times without stopping to examine it.  Usually there was a car parked in front of it on the street.  And I'm not a big fan of shrines to the Virgin Mary.  Never was.  Never will be.  That's just me.

If your Italian skills are a bit shaky, let me translate this inscription. According to "His Excellency, Nicola Ghilardi (Bishop?) of the archdiocese of Lucca(on God's behalf), will grant an indulgence (forgiveness/pardon) of 40 days to the faithful people who devoutly say Ave Maria  3 times here in front of the sacred image of the Virgin Mary.  That's it.  Just stop here.  Say Ave Maria 3 times and you get an automatic 40 days off your stay in Purgatory.  This is a way better deal than any cash back offer from Amazon!!  This is 40 days erased from your stay in Purgatory. Forgiveness for my sins! And there's NO LIMIT.  No strings attached.  That would mean a sinner like me can just stroll by this shrine as often as I want and repeatedly rack up 40 days off my punishment in the hereafter.  Let's do the math.  I walk past this shrine about 8 times a day because it's on my way into the center of Lucca.  8 x 40 = 320 days of indulgences every day.  If I stay here 60 days, on average, I can bank almost 55 years of indulgences per trip.  Now all my prayers about dying and going straight to heaven have been solved.  I'm just about guaranteed a first class ticket straight to the pearly gates.  There's no way St Peter can deny me entrance.  This offer is carved in stone in Lucca. I have the pictures to verify this.

Maybe the best thing I can do now is to try to give a bit of explanation about the Roman Catholic "story" about life after death.  In other words, what happens to our "spirit"/"soul" after we die.  The Catholic Church has spent 2 thousand years trying to explain this deep human question.  They did a pretty good job over the centuries.  They put their best theological thinkers on this problem and they worked out an elaborate system...a system which coincidentally paid them handsomely.  According to their explanation, the afterworld was divided into 3 parts.  The ugly part was called Hell.  This was a place of eternal suffering.  You didn't want that.  

     

      Hell as imagined by the Artist Botero.  Fire and Brimstone.

Then, there was the spectacularly beautiful place was called Paradise or Heaven, if you like.  This was a place of perpetual bliss.  Lush gardens, great weather, first class entertainment.  This is what was promised to the poor peasants who spent their lives in servitude(or to the holy warriors who joined the crusades).  

     

      This is much better.  Heaven, even for the plump.  By Botero.

But best of all, the Church then invented a middle kingdom.  This was a stroke of genius.  They called this middle kingdom, "Purgatory".  

Purgatory was a holding tank...sort of like the airport boarding area before you can get on the plane.  Purgatory was where you had to wait with a bunch of screaming infants and numbed adults for your turn to leave.  It was slightly better than hell, but you knew that once your sentence was completed you were finally allowed to go through the final gate.   Allah be praised.  

The church elders quickly realized what a winner they had with Purgatory.  Purgatory was the obvious destination of the vast majority of souls on the planet.  And for just a small " donation ", the church could grant an indulgence.  An indulgence from the church would shorten your stay in Purgatory.  And, of course, the bigger the " offering ", the better the " reward" from the clergy.  If you were to gift the Church with your substantial fortune at death, you would have no need to wait with the unwashed in Purgatory.  Head straight to your air conditioned cabin, sit down in a big reclining chair, and wait for an attendant to bring you a hot towel an a glass of Champagne.  There will be a Limo waiting for you to whisk you directly to Heaven's gate.

Some of you may know that a certain Catholic priest named Martin Luther was so outraged by the Church selling indulgences that he traveled to Rome to "protest" this grotesque extortion.  The Pope even granted him a meeting to hear his complaints.  But there was just too much at stake for the Church.  This was the church's gravy train.  And besides.  What was this nutcase going to do?  Go nail his protest letter on some Church door in Germany.  It'll never fly.  

The sad legacy of indulgences was that it lit the fuse that ignited 400 years of religious wars throughout the entire European continent. The Protestant Reformation exploded in the Pope's face.  And the simple role of indulgences changed history forever.  Nobody saw this coming, especially from inside the Catholic Church.  As far the hierarchy of the church was concerned, there was no controversy.  The Catholic Church decided to keep issuing indulgences.  The money kept rolling in.  And life here on earth and in the afterlife was just the way it should be.

So my job here on earth is to try to separate truth from fiction.  It's a constant battle.  But even if the the idea of indulgences is pure fiction, what have I got to lose by just uttering 3 Ave Marias when I walk past the shrine on the corner 8 times a day?  It's too good a deal to just walk past.  It's an offer I can't refuse.  Even if it turns out to be very far from the truth.

That's my story.

And I'm stickin to it.

Dan